Two Nuts, Two Pies, One Nutty Family

Everyone can claim that they have The World's Craziest Family. I will not go as far to say that, but I do feel comfortable saying that I have The World's Nuttiest Family. They, for the most part, are tucked away in the country on their own "compound" (as described by Grad School Soul Mate Dash), sipping on their home brew and have some severe issues of boredom. If you have ever seen The Burbs or Disturbia you might get a general idea of what I am trying to say, but without the murders or creepiness. A perfect example is the one night some poor soul got turned around and pulled into our street and (s)he was instantly accused of trying to rob one of our houses. Goodbye TV. Hello Window Watching.

Every Saturday at 6:00pm there will be dinner.  There will be the same dinner conversation. It is so predictable I can write out a script of the night, but I will not subject you to it. There will be cards, coffee, lottery tickets, and dessert. Dessert is always different and where I come in. I use this time to experiment. First, Bourbon Bacon Pecan Pie (Drunken Nutty Piggy Pie) and Lemon Hazelnut Pie.

Drunken Nutty Piggy Pie

I found the recipe for Drunken Nutty Piggy Pie on this website and was instantly drawn to it for multiple reasons.

1. Bourbon
2. Bacon
3. Free pecans from a dear friend who ironically has a pet pig named Hamlet.

Vanilla Bean Bacon from Catullo Prime Meat

 I had a moment of sadness as I cooked up the bacon and instantly thought about Hamlet, but this quickly dissipated as my love for both 1 and 2 trumped the Birmingham famous house pig. Sorry Hamlet.

I must insist on one change in this recipe. Be picky with your bacon. The first time I made this pie (see Gingerbread Army Men photo) I just used plain old bacon. The second time I made this recipe I used Catullo Prime Meat's Vanilla Bean Bacon. This is the king of bacon. If you don't like vanilla, please visit them anyways to see their other bacon flavors...and their young, hipster, mutton chopped (facial hair, not meat) butchers.

Catullo Prime Meats feels like an old school butcher shop, but with very young butchers behind the bar. 

This pie has bacon two ways: bacon grease in the pie crust and pieces of bacon mixed in with the pecans!

You can see little specks of bacon in the pie crust too!

This pie is perfect for anyone who craves that salty/sweet combination and truly believes that "Everything is better with bacon."

Lemon Hazelnut Pie

This pie does not need some catchy name because it honestly is that good. Growing up my grandfather used to give me a jar of Nutella for Christmas, which kick started my love for hazelnuts. I mean hazelnuts and chocolate are soulmates...or so I thought until I made this pie (Recipe: HERE).

This pie almost never came to fruition all because of my nutty family. I should explain the history of beer consumption and my sweet, little nuclear family. My dad was born in Germany and came over to the states with his parents when he was very young. Europeans tend to have a different view on beer at dinner compared to the United States. Whenever my sister and I were little and went to stay with our grandparents they would serve us "Kiddie Beer" which was basically a thimble full of very bitter, very warm beer. DELICIOUS to a young kid who is striving to be an adult by wearing lipstick and heels and drinking beer. (Now that I think about my whole childhood it truly is amazing that my sister and I turned out as well as we did...) I will stress that MODERATION is KEY! I will also stress, "Once you pop you can't stop. (Especially with craft beers and the opportunity to be as snobby about brews as possible). 

That being said, when my family is all reunited we tend to make it feel a bit too good through many many many beers. What was suppose to be dinner, ONE drink and then home to bake pie quickly turned into dinner, MULTIPLE beers, B-Double E-Double R-U-N, a stop to the delightful hole-in-the-wall where my cousin tends bar and THEN home to bak....wait no no, drink more beer and THEN in a panic realize we forgot to bake the pie for dinner tomorrow. Sigh...

We shall blame the good beer on this one.

I will NEVER EVER recommend baking while under the influence (here as known as BUI); however, we had safety in numbers and what is the worst that can happen? (Please Note The Worst That Can Happen: cut yourself, cut your finger off, cut your hand off, cut your sister's hand off, choke on bite of pie, burn yourself, catch oven on fire, catch house on fire, and ruin pie). Luckily none of these situations happened.

The beautiful thing about this boozy pie is that not only do you get that tangy bite of a cocktail-esque dessert, but you are one step closer to making your own limoncello! This girl LOVES a simple syrup and it was a delight to sip while we peeled the skins off the roasted hazelnuts. It is a tedious task, but cocktails and craft beer makes the time go by quickly!

Before and After

This pie has a lot of components to it. A flaky crust, crunchy hazelnuts, lemony filling, and then this ooey-gooey, chewy candied lemon toppings. A person definitely has to love lemons in order to love this pie, but it is sweet enough to convert anyone who doesn't care for this citrus.

Everyone that participated in tipsy pie baking came out of the kitchen unscathed and if they were lucky a liverwurst and brie cheese midnight snack!