Charcuterie should be a metal band

Back when I was taking 4 years of German in High School, my friend (Monika) and I, often rambled on about Rammstein, a German metal band. Even after 4 years of German I could not even begin to tell you what they are singing about, so if it is wildly inappropriate I plead ignorance. The reason why I bring this up is because I desperately want a French metal band to start and I want them to be named Charcuterie, sing about charcuterie, and provide charcuterie to all their die hard fans (like me). 

Now, I love a good charcuterie. I love it so much that if I was forced to eat only one thing for the rest of my life I would lie and cheat and say "charcuterie" knowing full well that it is made up of multiple things. Multiple, delicious, rich, stomach-aching things. Cheese. Meat. Olives and other accoutrements. Screw crackers. Crackers are stupid. Just give me the meat and cheese. Also, give me the world where pretentiousness and metal meet and fall in love.

I want this to happen so badly that when I am putting together a charcuterie (how many times can I say this word in this post?) plate I sing in my loudest, raspiest, deepest voice CHARCUTERIEEEEE....CHARCUTERIEEEEEEE........CHARCUTERIEEEE and then rage and whip my hair around. 

I realize I just claimed that I ban crackers from my charcuterie, but please note I am not selfish and cater to those that love crackers. Also, the triangle block of white cheese is a Raspberry Ale Cheddar and absolutely my favorite cheese in the whole wide world.

My sister, who loves cheese more than anything, bought all this cheese for a short 5 day visit. That is a lot of cheese consumption. Please call help.  If you want to order delicious cheese, I highly recommend The Cheesemongers Shop in Leavenworth, WA

Need I say more???? Are you singing "Charcuterieeeee, charcuterieeeee, charcuterieeeee..." yet?

Marinated goat cheese, pumpkin goat cheese, cheddar, limburger, raspberry ale cheddar and stout ale cheddar. "Don't forget the fig jam" she said in a Mrs. Featherbottom voice.

Other Accoutrements

Roasted Brussels, red pear and blue cheese skewers.

Roasted beets and goat cheese layers. 

Goat Cheese with blackberries and wine.

Luxurious truffles from a local shop in Kent, Ohio called The Empire of Magical Thought.  In short they sell magic and chocolate which is as close to a Harry Potter as one can get. The sister company is Bittersweet's in Stow, Ohio.