Life is Bittersweet (Much more bitter than sweet)

Comfort is hard to come by when you suffer a loss, especially when it is someone very special to you. People cope in various ways, but I have noticed a pattern with some of my favorite shows and movies. Baked goods. There is something comforting about a hot oven, sweet sugar, and the nostalgia of being in a kitchen. Waitress, Pushing Daisies and Stranger than Fiction are simply lovely and full of whimsy (something I fancied once upon a time), coping and redefining life.

Life pretty much sucks right now. It will probably suck for a long time. It isn't very eloquent, but it is the only way I can muster to say it. And while tears in pumpkin pie is not only NOT attractive and NOT ideal for serving, it is completely and totally acceptable. I can cry in my pie if I want to. It is MY pie! But pie (in healthy doses) can cure the soul. Even if it is only for seconds or spoonfuls at a time. Food brings joy to other people and right now smiling (even if it is not me) is essential. Plus...Cody frequently demanded elaborate, Willy Wonka-esque treats and feasts and I will honor him by attempting to make them.

At the end of the day you have to do what makes you happy. Even it if only makes you happy for a few hours at day. It doesn't even have to make you feel happy. I could smile, I could cry, I might throw around bags of flour, but at least I'm doing and feeling something. That being said, I will bake. I will bake (and cook) my feelings. And if beer, wine, and other libations slip in here and there...even better.

 

"As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt as if everything was going to be ok. Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs, an uneaten Danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives." Stranger Than Fiction